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Otherwise, it's probably not going to change much and you'll just grow to resent her even more.Q: Is it ever wise to confront his mother directly? Mandel: If you and he are just beginning to develop a relationship, I wouldn't advise taking on his mother.If you're dating a guy like this, I recommend you cut your losses fast unless he gets help or becomes proactive about growing up.Otherwise, he may never let go of mom, or worse yet, he'll turn you into his mom and expect the same from you.Of course, this makes it hard for him to commit to another woman -- namely, you.Q: What's the difference between a man having a "healthy" attachment to his mother and an "unhealthy" one? Mandel: While you might find it odd that he's calling or even visiting his mother daily, the frequency of contact a guy has with his mom doesn't determine how healthy or unhealthy his attachment is to her. If both mom and son have mutual respect for one another and have set good boundaries with each other (if he's able to say "Thanks but no thanks for the new underwear you bought me, Ma.
Ultimately, he still expects mom to rescue him and take care of his every need, even though she's not interested in doing so.She'd probably end up creating a wedge in your relationship and then he'd likely feel forced to choose between the two of you.And because you're the new girl in town...well, I don't think I have to tell you whom he'd choose!If you've been together for a while and you're serious about one another, however, if she's intrusive or disrespectful of you or your relationship, it might be time to invite her to lunch for a little chat.
I'd keep it rather casual, so as to not be threatening.So, it becomes a mutually parasitic relationship; both mom and son are afraid to be independent of each other.