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These are the Post-Mortems, where we dissect a letter and dig through the remains in order to get to the heart of the issue. Many times, we’re having to liberally apply the Chair Leg of Truth to a lifetime of beliefs.But, while the love may be tough, at the end we’re going to know exactly what went wrong and how we can do better next time.
On Monday, Smith clapped back by posting another video where he proves everyone wrong!
When we see people in person, we process those signs and signals so quickly that we don’t realize that we’ve gone through a checklist. Your attitude literally bleeds into everything you do, in ways that you don’t think about.
We just know “Yes, I’m attracted to that person” or “No, I’m not”. An amazing actor can pull this off for a little while. It affects how you talk to people, the way you perceive the world and how you interact with it. And like Binary Sunset, this is a theme that’s going to be recurring throughout your letter.
Sometimes the answer is more nuanced than normal or requires cutting through a Gordian knot of related issues.
But, occasionally, I’ll get a letter from a reader that requires a deeper and more thorough dive than the usual request for advice.
Which is why I suspect that part of the problem you’re having here is that you have a hole marked “Girlfriend” that you’re trying to fill and are less concerned about who fills it. …but all of them have rejected me with words along the lines of “it was lovely to meet you but I’m not sure I felt enough of a connection for a second date”. All of this despite evidence that they were interested in me, flowing conversation punctuated by laughter and even occasional arm touches etc. OK someone call Sir Mix-A-Lott because I hear a big “But” coming… If by “being ignored by women”, you mean that women aren’t approaching you for dates, then we’ve found your first problem.