Tips for dating a black man
Just because you’re dating a Black person does not mean it’s impossible for you to say/do racist things, and it doesn’t absolve you of recognizing your White privilege. As discussed in point one, many non-minority people exist in a majority world where they infrequently encounter and experience racism.That privilege is revoked when you decide to date interracially.I recently got into a interesting conversation with a few White women I know, who happen to date Black or minority men, and it really highlighted a need to explore the complexities of such unions in greater depth.Though I do support the right to love, regardless of color (or gender/gender identity), I also believe that the challenges of interracial relationships are often obscure and infrequently discussed.When White people find themselves in relationships with loving, caring partners who also happen to be Black or minority, but does not fit those often deeply internalized stereotypes, internal conflict can arise.And sadly, this conflict is often resolved by creating an “exception” of a partner while holding on to the deeply ingrained, racist notions.For people of color who live in a White-dominated country, many of those experiences will be plagued by racism.A significant other who dismisses or trivializes those realities could never provide adequate support for their non-White partner in relationship.
And such displays of ignorance, sadly, tend to become a frequent part of your interaction with the world as you move through it beside a person of color, including when dealing with family, loved ones, coworkers and authority figures. This same White curiosity will lead many to ask you some pretty ignorant questions about your partner so be prepared. Society fetishizes mixed babies, but does not treat mixed-race individuals well.As I explained above, many can maintain prejudiced and even racist ideas while also having relationships with people of other races.These attitudes have been ingrained by a White supremacist/patriarchal society that has created a system of White normalization (i.e. The only way they can be overcome and dispelled are if they are confronted and challenged, not denied or avoided. Be prepared to encounter ignorance, even from your own family and close friends.We’re often unaware of the stereotypes that creep into our psyches, planted early and then fed throughout our lives.
Many of these stereotypes create the lens through which we experience people of other races, especially since society tends to be racially segregated, disallowing first-hand experience of other ethnicities/races.So, if you’re someone who believes we live in a post-racial society because we have a Black president, you probably won’t be the best long-term partner for a person of color. Your partner is not the “exception to the rule.” The belief that men of color are “thugs” and thus somehow unworthy of white respect is a widespread belief that is often exploited by the media and politics.